


Fading Colors

by HandmaidenOfHorror



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altea (Voltron), Family, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Pre-Series, Series of Vignettes, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29492328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandmaidenOfHorror/pseuds/HandmaidenOfHorror
Summary: How do you tell your toddler daughter you are dying? A series of vignettes exploring Allura's relationship with Melinor and my reasoning for her absence during much of Allura's childhood.
Relationships: Alfor & Allura (Voltron), Allura & Allura's Mother (Voltron), Allura & Coran (Voltron)
Kudos: 2
Collections: Black Is Beautiful 2021





	Fading Colors

She sees the world in two ways. She can see as everybody else sees, using her eyes. She can also see with her eyes closed. She sees colors. People are swirling, sparkling whir l winds of colors, changing from one to another sometimes gradually and sometimes rapidly. Animals are colors too,  each kind in a different way. Plants too, though the whirls are slower and colors less intense. And when she see deeper, she sees the colors that make up the ground, the stars and everything between them.  Everything is colors, and everything is one.  For a long time, she had problem differentiating seeing-with-your-eyes and seeing-without-eyes, but she learned to distinguish them, to not see, by the time she learned to communicate. 

(Much later, she realized she never talked about her ways of seeing to anybody else, and by that time there was no longer a point in talking about it, as she wouldn’t be understood anyways.)

***

Her first birthday present was a large mouse.  The mouse was black  o n the top and white  o n the bottom – “counter shad ed ”, her father told her.

“When light falls on an object that has solid color on its whole surface,” he explained, producing a round, red fruit as an example, “The object appears light on the top and dark on the bottom. But when animals are dark on the top and light on the bottom the difference is much subtler. This way, animals can avoid being spotted by carnivores, animals who eat other animals!”

She didn’t understand much of it, but she loved when her father talked to her like this. 

“Have you decided on his name, my princess?” he father asked.

She did.

“Muu!” Allura shrieked, spooking the animal in question. 

***

Muu was a boy, she was told,  but  the mouse told her she was actually a girl. Of course, mice cannot talk, but she learned  how to interpret changing colors in other people and creatures.  And thus,  Muu told her she was a girl mouse and annoyed to be thought as a boy. When she shared the discovery with her mother, she laughed in good spirits.

“It’s common to mistake the sex of small animals,” she said, “and very observant of you to notice!”

But her colors, the usual mixture of pink and blue, were darker now, the whirlwind that was her moving slower and only sporadically sparkling. She didn’t know what to make of it.

***

At some point she started to notice additional colors  within Muu .  The were initially diluded, but with time they condensed into four small whirlwinds inside the mouse – yellow, green, blue and pink. At that time, her parents couldn’t spare time for her, but her new discovery kept her mind from the issue. Instead, she turned to her new caretaker.

“You have a very good eye indeed, princess!”  Coran exclaimed, having put the pet into a medical diagnostic unit, “You are about to have four more mice!”

She rejoiced.

***

She hasn’t seen her mother for longer than she could bear.  That couldn’t do! One night she snuck out of her room and wandered into her mother’s, managing that with the help of Muu. 

“Cannot sleep, princess?” her mother called out to her before she could as much as touch the door to her chambers.

(Years later, Allura wondered – was she unable to sleep and heard her coming or was she able to see the colors just like her? So many questions she wants to know the answers to but never will.)

“Not without you, mama,” she replied while opening the doors, “I miss you so much!”

“I miss you too, princess,” her mother smiled, but her body language radiated sadness and tiredness, and her light was _so weak_ , “But I am very ill and cannot leave my room.”

“But the doctors will cure you, right?” she asked hopefully, but was only met with silence.

“Mama?” she asked again.

“I’m sorry, Allura,” her mama replied, “I don’t know.”

Another moment of silence followed.

“Can I sleep with you, mama?” she asked through tears.

“Of course, darling,” her mother replied, motioning for her to come to her bed.

***

Her warmth was the first thing she has ever felt. Everything around her was _her_ then _._ Everything was _love._ Why was the love withering away?

The first sound she has ever heard was a strong, steady heartbeat filled with love. But now, the heartbeat she felt was growing weaker day to day.

The first sig h t she has ever seen was her face, smiling at her despite pain and tiredness.

“Hello there, princess,” were the first words spoken to her. Why does the voice sound weaker now than then?

Now she knows the answer. And she doesn’t like it one bit.

***

Muu gave birth on the nightstand in Melinor’s room while the queen and her daughter were asleep. 

“What a surprise!” the queen exclaimed, looking slightly more lively than at night, “Four cubs! Have you thought how to name them, Allura?”

The princess shook her head.

“Can you name them, mama?” she pleaded, “Please?”

The queen nodded in agreement.

“I will give them names of my favorite flowers, so that they know they form a bouquet. The pink one has the color of the adorable Chuchule.”

“Chuchule,” her daughter said, feeling as if she was oficially naming the tiny newborn. 

“The largest one reminds me of the platt lilies in our largest pond.”

“Platt,” she repeated.

“The smallest one is like the tiny flowers of the chulatt tree, first to bloom in springtime.”

“Chulatt,” she nodded.

“The last little one reminds me of the desert succulent plachu, so Plachu it will be, right, princess?”

“Plachu!” she exclaimed happily.

***

Her mother didn’t get better. 

***

She sat numb, holding her five mice. She hoped somebody, her father, maybe Coran, will be with her, but ever y body was busy conducting the funereal ceremony. She was too young to fully comprehend what “death” meant but she was slowly realizing she won’t see her mother anymore. As the young princess was falling into despair, the colors around her were becoming duller and duller until they disappeared completely. 

(She hasn’t tried to use to her seeing-without-eyes ability until an eternity later, in a completely different universe. Would it change anything if she did it earlier? She might know the answer, but she wasn’t sure if she liked the price.)


End file.
